Mood: Humbled  Tonight's Song Selection:  Lemonade Mouth - Somebody The saying goes; You don't know what you are missing until it's gone...Right?...But what if - What is missing is a part of you?  For years, I felt lost, like being on a boat in the middle of the ocean with no sign of direction. It took me years to understand how dance impacted my life. As I said in the beginning, I only started to miss and understand my need for it when I stopped dancing.  I would be the one kid who didn't want to change into my dance clothes, and half-ass the conditioning sessions. But without the structure of dancing, I fell off my rocker.  In high school, I had allowed the people around me to influence my love for dance and that's where it all went wrong in the beginning.  I didn't like competing and I still don't. With games, sports etc., I don't like competing against people in that aggressive manner. In prep school, Luna, my mother if you all remember, h...

Mood: Overthinking Tonight's Song Selection:  Twenty One Pilots - Forest Do you ever have moments of overthinking but about nothing? Just plain abstract thought. While I should be working on my book or studying my French and Korean, I find my self laying in bed thinking but not really thinking. Or is it aimlessly wondering? One of my greatest weakness is a lack of self-motivation. I could have my entire day planned and just one second of aimless wondering and it can go flying out the window and nothing gets done for days. Habit breaking is hard. I want to be able to finish my work without drifting, or even study consistently, but I always tend to fall back into bad habits like just being a bum, which really doesn't get me anywhere. I hope you're vibing and grooving,  With all my love,  Greylan Wolf.

Mood: Solemn  Tonight's Song Selection:  BTS RM - Persona  I personally enjoy this read on ikigai: Enlivenment Jung's Map of the Soul: If you want to go deeper into understanding the Jungian archetypes and the journey to love oneself, I would recommend, Jung's Map of the Soul by Murray Stein.  The questions we tend to hear in life is:  What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? Do you love it? Why are you doing it if you don't love it? Then comes the buts, ifs, and maybe so. If you did it this way... But that way isn't best... Maybe that 'could' work...but I think you 'should' do it this way... Hey world, two words,  SHUT UP! Not everyone has the ability or personality to do what they love as a career. That's why hobbies exist and people are multifaceted creatures, we can love many different things. Not all of them has to be the one we can call our career.  Humans tend to judge others ...

Mood: Determined  Tonight Song Selection: Ruth B - Lost Boy It's not easy trying to create a career based on self-sustained creativity. Growing up, the narrative fed to young kids is that studying to be a doctor or a lawyer is the path to take. These are ' good' jobs. So, being placed in that restrictive state of mind, at six years old, I would never have fathomed becoming a dancer or a writer. We were told those jobs would not get you the money to have a decent enough life or cover the value of the cost of living where I reside.  So how did I get to this point, when my original plan was to be a dentist? That's the question I believe young Grey would ask me.  During my teen years, I thought I was lost. I didn't fit the narrative being sold to me by the masses. I loved learning but my grades never truly showed it. I had friends but never really felt as if they were supportive (most of them, not all). I saw my sibling as better than me and felt like an outc...

Mood: Thankful  Tonight Song Selection:  BTS (방탄소년단) - Two! Three! (Hoping For More Good Days) We live in a world where everything is usually about 'me' and 'I' . We do things to benefit ourselves but in the moment we do not think how it might affect others. We all have a past. Every minute, every second that passes us, in turn, becomes a part of our past. The decision you make now - within this moment - really does affect you, but it also affects people close to you and people who look up to you. In my twenty-three years, I have had to learn from my mistakes. It has been slow and painful, to say the least. But now, looking back, I wouldn't change it. People believe that the quote 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is just someone trying to cheer you up. But behind it, if you look deeper into the message of that quote, is a truth that we will all have to learn at some point or another. I've had to learn to stand alone and stan...

Mood: Reminiscing Tonight's Song Selection: Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune  "longing" noun long·​ing | \ ˈlȯŋ-iŋ    Definition of longing a strong desire especially for something unattainable: craving "reminiscence" noun rem·​i·​nis·​cence | \ ˌre-mə-ˈni-sᵊn(t)s Definition of reminiscence       1: the apprehension of a Platonic idea as if it had been known in a previous existence 2 a:  recall to the mind of a long-forgotten experience or fact 2b: the process or practice of thinking or telling about past experiences 3a:  a remembered experience 3b: an account of a memorable experience — often used in plural 4: something so like another as to be regarded as an unconscious repetition, imitation, or survival Both definitions are taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. The words portray the exact feeling I have when I listen to music and when I dance, and what it all means t...