Mood: Determined  Tonight Song Selection: Ruth B - Lost Boy It's not easy trying to create a career based on self-sustained creativity. Growing up, the narrative fed to young kids is that studying to be a doctor or a lawyer is the path to take. These are ' good' jobs. So, being placed in that restrictive state of mind, at six years old, I would never have fathomed becoming a dancer or a writer. We were told those jobs would not get you the money to have a decent enough life or cover the value of the cost of living where I reside.  So how did I get to this point, when my original plan was to be a dentist? That's the question I believe young Grey would ask me.  During my teen years, I thought I was lost. I didn't fit the narrative being sold to me by the masses. I loved learning but my grades never truly showed it. I had friends but never really felt as if they were supportive (most of them, not all). I saw my sibling as better than me and felt like an outc...

Mood: Thankful  Tonight Song Selection:  BTS (방탄소년단) - Two! Three! (Hoping For More Good Days) We live in a world where everything is usually about 'me' and 'I' . We do things to benefit ourselves but in the moment we do not think how it might affect others. We all have a past. Every minute, every second that passes us, in turn, becomes a part of our past. The decision you make now - within this moment - really does affect you, but it also affects people close to you and people who look up to you. In my twenty-three years, I have had to learn from my mistakes. It has been slow and painful, to say the least. But now, looking back, I wouldn't change it. People believe that the quote 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is just someone trying to cheer you up. But behind it, if you look deeper into the message of that quote, is a truth that we will all have to learn at some point or another. I've had to learn to stand alone and stan...

Mood: Reminiscing Tonight's Song Selection: Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune  "longing" noun long·​ing | \ ˈlȯŋ-iŋ    Definition of longing a strong desire especially for something unattainable: craving "reminiscence" noun rem·​i·​nis·​cence | \ ˌre-mə-ˈni-sᵊn(t)s Definition of reminiscence       1: the apprehension of a Platonic idea as if it had been known in a previous existence 2 a:  recall to the mind of a long-forgotten experience or fact 2b: the process or practice of thinking or telling about past experiences 3a:  a remembered experience 3b: an account of a memorable experience — often used in plural 4: something so like another as to be regarded as an unconscious repetition, imitation, or survival Both definitions are taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. The words portray the exact feeling I have when I listen to music and when I dance, and what it all means t...